another moral hangover. fuck.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
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