Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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