Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
