i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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