If i come over, it means nothing
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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