So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
