he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize