college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
