and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
