I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
