I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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