his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
