Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
