My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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