I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
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Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
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Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
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