I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know đ
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I should have known it wouldnât work. Someone saved in her phone as âSubway Sexâ called the week before the wedding
Randomize
