apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Randomize