Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
