Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Randomize
