Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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