Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize