this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
