We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
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I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
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Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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