I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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