hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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