I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
