She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
How's work?
Spinning.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
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