In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
