I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
