He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
