Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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