Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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