Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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