And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
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