Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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