I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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