party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
