The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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