He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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