there's paper in my vomit.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
