dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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