Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
