arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
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