you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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