Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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