I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
