you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
