lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
