i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
