dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
