Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
