I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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