you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a drive thru vagina
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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