marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
we're so committed to being not committed
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
