Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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