I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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